Forgive me...

It's not my desire..
It's not even an intention...
It's all by nature that I am like this lately..

turn to my desperation..
beyond all hopes and wishes
hope someday it will change
either better or worse

deep inside my heart
I want all the best for ours
but all process force me to be,,,
in this decision

ignorance
longing of trust
meaningless things
and no where destination

forgive me...
again,,,
forgive me for everything..
just let me deal it myself
with my own feeling and heart....